What really breaks me about Arthur’s death is that throughout the series there’s kinda a lack of soft and affectionate touching between him and Merlin. It’s mostly just pushing and hitting and friendly banter, “horseplay”, ruffling each others hair, sometimes a pat on the shoulder, and really just touching each other any way they can while still keeping it kinda harsh and buddy-buddy, but it would evolve into more loving and affectionate touches, as we could already see by the progression of their relationship. But as Arthur realized he wasn’t gonna live to see their relationship get to that point, all he wanted was for Merlin to hold him. In his arms. To lay in Merlin’s lap and hold the back of his head and look deep into his eyes for the last time and try to make his sorrow easier to carry with his last words. He just wanted his last moments to feel like the future they wouldn’t get together.
